Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy VD

So, today is Valentine's Day...


I'm celebrating by taking the PT in to the shop. The belts have been squealing, plus I'm fairly sure there is an oil leak involved. I know it's Valentine's Day and all, but I'm really hoping I don't get bent over and done dry.

The water guy came over yesterday to service my water system. Naturally, they had to send the mentally retarded service tech. In between going from his van to the basement, I'm entertained with stories on how he got his ass reamed by his boss for not checking the oil in his van.

I once had a patient spontaneously bleed from her lungs and she died before my very eyes in what was the biggest, bloodiest code I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing. I'm still traumatized. So, unless your work problems can compete with that...I really, really don't care.

Corky finally replaces the filters and carbon in the system. It takes him so long that Brother is convinced he's just sitting in my basement, masturbating. I decide to just stay upstairs until Corky emerges with his shop vac. I'm sure Brother was wrong, but why take my chances?

Anyway, other than the car getting fixed, I have no big plans. Maybe I will stop somewhere and buy something for myself as no one is going to do it for me. Don't feel bad. I will get exactly what I want, and I won't have to put out for it.

But I will say this: I'm not obligated to observe S&BJ Day. Which is unfortunate because my meat skillz are phenomenal.

I can cook a really good steak.


SmedRock said...

Now that ma'am, was funny.But I seem to take delight in another person's misery.

Midtown Miscreant said...

Best anti-VD post Ive read. ThinkI'll run out and get a shop vac and a penicillin shot.

Nightmare said...

What is with not wanting to put out? Are you saying you have reached maximum shutness on the knees? Crowbars won't help? That seems a bit harsh for some unlucky sucker out there.

It is a good thing you clarified the cooking steak part...otherwise I would have had to make a joke to question those MEAT SKILLZ YO!!

Xavier Onassis said...

Happy Valentines Day!