Thursday, August 14, 2008

Someone Call the Fashion Police!

On Wednesdays, Mom and I usually go to Sweet Tomato. Brother and Mr. Recommendation have gone with us in the past, neither of them liked it. Brother says salad bars are more a woman's thing, so Mom and I usually go on our own. It's become our Wednesday thing. I still invite Brother to go, and it's usually met with a snort and some comment about not wanting to visit the Red Vagina...his name for the restaurant.

I take 63rd street to get there. While at a stop light at 63rd and Swope Parkway, there was a boy, couldn't have been older than 12, walking his bicycle up the sidewalk, and walking like he had a corn cob shoved up his butt. Mom and I stopped talking and watched. It wasn't too long before we understood why the kid was walking funny. His pants, worn ridiculously low as the trend is now, kept falling down to his ankles. I always did wonder how guy who wore their pants this way kept the very same thing from happening to them.

Anyway, the boy would take a couple step, using both hands to secure the bike, and his pants would fall down. He'd drop the bike, pull his pants up, pick up the bike, take two steps, and his pants would fall down again. To make things even more complicated, he was also trying to carry a baseball glove. Mom and just laughed and laughed. We couldn't help it. I'm sure we were not alone in our amusement, there was a lot of traffic. You can't help but notice someone who's pants won't stay on.

The boy eventually noticed a bunch of people watching, namely two pasty white women in a PT Cruiser laughing at his wardrobe malfunction. He got a sheepish grin on his face, hopped on his bike and pedaled away. At least the bicycle seat kept his pants from falling down again.

Just FYI: pants worn so low that we can see your skid marks is not an appealing look that makes women swoon. (Hopefully this boy will traumatized by women laughing at him that he never makes this fatal error in fashion judgement again.) This makes you look like you can't dress yourself, and we really are not interested in what color underwear you have on. For Godsakes, get a belt!

Or even better...get a pair of pants that actually fit.


Sully Sullivan said...

Oh I wear my pants like that all the time except I'm sick of people like you staring so I've stopped wearing underwear.

PS, my ass is hairy.

Enjoy your lunch.

Faith said...

Makes you wonder how he was planning on playing baseball at all. Perhaps he takes his pants off all the way when he gets to the park?

Stupid kids these days. I know people are making fun of Katie Holmes a lot lately for her return to the pegged jeans look, but I'll take that look over the 'development' we've come to when it comes to the way lots of youngin's wear pants these days, fo sho.

Topher said...

Yes, "Now get off my lawn!"

Nuke said...

I dunno, I like salads and Red Tomatoes is pretty good. Heck sometimes I'll choose between 2 places to eat based on who has a salad bar and who just has dinner salads. But I do like a little dead animal with my salad (not just bacos).

As for the kid, I have made my own fashion blunders (I'll never forgive fuckin Miami Vice) but I never fell outa my clothes.

April said...