Saturday, August 09, 2008

What's That Noise???

Did you hear that???

That is the sound of John Edwards' career going down the crapper.

Because X-Man at Hip Suburban White Guy covered the subject well, I won't go into a long tirade about how I think that John Edwards is the World's Biggest Douchenozzle and how I hope that his pecker turns black and falls off. I also won't go into detail about how I think his wife, Elizabeth, should consider haunting him for a couple years after she dies. Really. She should seriously consider it. To have to be cancer's bitch and deal with an Asstriscuit of a husband is simply too much for one woman to bear. Hopefully, Elizabeth Edwards has an industrial sized can of whoopass to use on her husband. He deserves, and then some. Which is why I strongly urge the haunting.

What does it matter if he had an affair? Nothing to me personally, but this is the guy who wanted to be president. Why would I want a guy who fucks around on his terminally ill wife to lead my country?? Shit, if he lacks the capacity for a moral compass now, what the hell could we expect from him in the White House?? Ass. And here I thought he was the most benign of all the candidates.

Who knows...maybe this affair was his way of coping. I've seen the same situation at work where the spouse cheats on a dying family member. But that usually earns you The Evil Death Look from the entire nursing staff.

Somewhere, Bill Clinton is thinking, "This guy makes me look like a Boy Scout."

I think what astounds me the most about the whole situation is that this story broke a while ago. Yes, it was by a tabloid (National Enquirer) BUT they did manage to essentially catch the guy in the act at a hotel (to which he ran away from photogs and hid in a bathroom...which should speak volumes as to what kind of pussy he is). That's not even the astounding part. The part that resonates with me is that even with proof, most all major news networks refused to even look into the story. Sometimes, it appeared that they tried to sweep it under the rug. But now that he's admitted to it, you can't turn on any channel without hearing them go over it. Ad nauseum.

In the end, I guess it doesn't matter when the story came out. As Kant's grandma once said to me, "It all comes out in the wash." And it did. Even though The Enquirer is the equivalent of toilet paper, their editor does deserve a opportunity to say, "I told you so!!"

It still doesn't make me want to read their mag. They still suck. Now they can go back to reporting about the Loch Ness Monster.

And speaking of suck, it sucks to be John Edwards right now. I hope Rielle Hunter's bootwagga held all the secrets to life's mysteries in addition to the Powerball numbers for the next ten years, because loosing it all is so not worth a piece of tail.


Joe said...

It was also the National Enquirer that broke the Rush Limbaugh drug story that was ridiculed in the same way before being found out to be true. Who knew that a tabloid paper would lead such groundbreaking muckraking?

Suzy said...

The National Enquirer is no longer the paper with the wrong info. No one knows how they did it, but more and more out here people listen to them. And tremble.

Topher said...

Haven't read anything on this story other than a blurb saying he had an affair.

To play the advocate's devil ;-), there is the distinct possibility that this "affair" was with the knowledge and blessing of his wife.

Heather said...

I have considered that...but then he goes on to say he admitted everything to his wife. "All the details", which tells me that she probably didn't know.

big russ said...

Rielle Hunter is not even that attractive. John Edwards could do so so much better. Two thumbs down for John Edwards. He could have done so much better and more discretely if he was screwing around.

MoxieMamaKC said...

Ya know...well...I have one question...why do they always cheat with someone less attractive than their spouse. Think about it...Princess Di/Camilla, Jennifer Flowers/Monica Lewinski/Hillary, ect...Weird that it's always someone that you wouldn't picture them with...

Beckle the Freckle said...
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