Thursday, March 16, 2006

Decisions, decisions...

I just heard they are going to open up a transplant unit at work, and it will open sometime this fall. Transplants have always been near and dear to my heart, so I am seriously considering putting in for a transfer. Ever since nursing school, even before, I have always wanted to work with transplants. Someday, I would really like to work with the Midwest Transplant Network and be one of the people that facilitates the whole process from donor to recipient. I got to stand in on an organ retrieval once when I was a nursing assistant, and I was floored. FLOORED! I think I knew at that precise moment that I wanted organ transplants to be a big part of my career.

After all, it is already a big part of my personal life as well.

I find myself hesitating somewhat. It's not because I don't want to do it, but doing it would involve me stepping out of my comfort zone. I love the people I work with, for the most part, but I don't like what I do. I don't like going to work and spending 12 hours walking on eggshells, just knowing the at any given second, a patient could crash. I don't like that my unit gets dumped on because the Bosshole won't stand up for his nurses. I hate working short.

When I applied for my first RN job, I had a clear mindset as to what I wanted to do, and now my unit has evolved into the very things that I don't want to do. I used to look forward to going in, now I can only hope to be struck down with the bird flu so I can call in sick.

On the good side, I know my unit. I know what my limits are. I love my coworkers (save for Whiskey Tango and that one wierd nurse who thinks her boobs are bigger than they really are).

But I am simply not happy. Some people say that it's bad for nurses no matter where you work, that I am going to find the same dismal things no matter where I go. I refuse to believe that. I know that there are nurses out there who love their jobs because they have found the thing that truly makes them happy. I refuse to remain miserable because that is the very best I can expect.

So, I probably will be putting in for that transfer. I won't know unless I try. Sometimes, you just have to buck up and jump outside your comfort zone. It's better to do it and know for certain, rather than do nothing and spend the rest of your time wondering, "What if..."

No comments: