My Brother, the Shiester

Actual conversation...

John: Did you give Mike your truck, or did you sell it?
Me: I gave it to him.
John: Why didn't you give it to me?
Me: Because he didn't have a working vehicle, I knew he would be able to fix mine so it would run. If I gave it to you, it would still be sitting in your yard collecting dust with the rest of the vehicles you have parked there that don't run. (John's wife murmurs agreement in the background)

I thought that was the end of it. I thought wrong because he called a week later.

John: Did you sign the title over to him, or is your name still on the title?
Me: Signed it all over. Why do you want to know?
John: Because I want to see if he will trade with me for my Dakota.
(side note...the Dakota, while newer, has been wrecked, driven hard and overall...a big lemon. It's even yellow.)
Me: Mike has put a lot of work into that truck, why would he want yours?
John: I have this guy who is willing to trade his SUV for that truck.
Me: So, the SUV would be for you?
John: Yes
Me: And you have traded your brother's truck off without even talking to him first?
John: Yeah
Me: And if Mike says no?
John: Then he says no, but tell him to call me.
Me: You're a pig. I can't talk to you anymore. (hands the phone to Mom)

I love my brother, but I swear, sometimes he can be so self-centered, I could scream. Always the big dreamer of the get-rich-quick schemes. (I should refer him to the Utah-Kieffer clan and their prepaid legal...) When I was in my car accident, and got part of my settlement, he felt he was entitled to half of it because he was driving my car...and if he hadn't been driving my car, I wouldn't have been in the passenger seat, and not had my face blown off by an airbag...and therefore not getting any settlement. Nevermind the fact that the accident was the other guy's fault, not to mention I am still losing my vision in my left eye as a result.

So, I told Mike about John's latest and greatest scheme. Mike just sort of snorted, which in Mike-speak says, "That figures." I was probably more annoyed about it than he was, probably because I know that Mike has put a lot of work into this truck to make it his own. Now, John has fashioned some sort of arrangement where he benefits most. Mike says he's not going to trade, but John is King of the Guilt Trip...another one of those bad traits he inherited from our father's side of the gene pool. Who knows what he will say..."We need the SUV to haul around 6lb Peanut and family."

Whatever. Do all oldest children go through this kind of garbage?