Thursday, April 19, 2007

A Night of Toys, Lube, and Chocolate

Ordinarily, this would qualify as a perfect date for me. However, this is the night I hosted a party. I don't know what you would call it...Toy Party, Naughty Party. Most people know it as Passion Party, but that is a brand name, and this party was done by Edible Ecstasy. More importantly, it was brought to us by Michelle.

I met Michelle at the blogger meet-up, and I liked her right away. So, I felt good about having her come to my house without worrying about being knocked unconscious by a two foot pink jelly dong, and waking up to a cleaned out house.

(The jelly dong does exist, and you could very well knock someone unconscious with it...just so you know.)

My mother came over early to help me with preparations. She found the inflatable sheep I took with me on the cruise (it was party of a slumber party theme activity our group had on the ship) and inflated it. A strong margarita in her system, and she starts dry humping the sheep until I yell at her for doing in front of my very big, very open to the neighborhood, bay window. Luckily, Michelle happened to drive by my house at that moment, so natually she knew it was my house.

Did I mention the neighbor kids were riding their bikes on the street in front of my house at the same time?

My standing in the neighborhood is falling faster than Bush's approval ratings, I just know it.

Others arrive at my party, and they feast on the lavish chocolate fondue spread I have prepared. I love fondue. I made a delicious chocolate turtle fondue with caramel and nuts. I had strawberries, pineapple, brownies, pound cake, and raspberries for dipping.

Michelle gives a presentation of some of things we can purchase. We sample various lubes, lotions, and oils. Marvel at small vibrators. Oohh at the rabbits. Stare in a combination of horror and wonder at the two-foot pink double-ended jelly dong.

And I, being a student of the Kama Sutra, am loving every minute of it. If I had to do it all over again, I would have been a sex therapist. Dr. Ruth would be out of a job.

At the end, Michelle takes orders from my party goers, most of whom are more than willing to share what they ordered, which sort of takes me by surprised because I am not used to women being that open about their toys.

I'm not saying what I ordered, but I will say I got a pretty sweet discount from hosting the party, not to mention some fun freebies.

Michelle did a great job, and it was tons of fun. Book your party with her today!!


Xavier Onassis said...

I'm stunned and hurt that I wasn't invited.


SmedRock said...

w00t Drunk Nurses!!!!

Well Hell Michelle said...

Thanks for letting me do your party! Your mom was a riot... loved her. My mom would never come to one of these parties... she thinks they are uncouth ;)

Greg Beck said...

I have nothing to say, I just wanted to leave a comment

"The D" said...

I have so many comments running thur my head right now, I can't type fast enough. But all are incredibly inappropriate so I will refrain from publishing them here and will just say, thank you for a wonderful post ;)

emawkc said...

"...without worrying about being knocked unconscious by a two foot pink jelly dong..."

If it's the last thing I ever do, I will find a way to use this line in casual conversation.


Spyder said...

You had me a fondue!

Donna said...

Dang, how many Kansas City bloggers are Passion Party hostesses? This makes two that I've run into.

I'm east of Kansas City, slightly in the boonies. Looks like interesting stuff here; I'll be back.