At my job, they often have inservices and whatnot for nurses. Often presented by doctors, clinicians, and other people with a working knowledge of what is being presented. By attending, we get free continuing education credits that we can apply towards our licensure.
With me so far?
Quite a few months ago, my unit educator sent out this email asking if anyone would be willing to volunteer to help present at one of these hour-long inservices on a particular disease process that we see a lot of on my floor. Because I have a background in public speaking, a wizard at power point, and a momentary lapse in judgement, I volunteered. However, the stipulation was that the unit educator share in the responsibility.
Since that time, my unit educator has quit her job, and gone to work as a clinician in the pulmonary clinic...the very clinic that oversees patients with the very disease process that this inservice is about.
Still with me??
I emailed my former educator and asked if she was still going to help with the presentation, because she still works for the hospital, but in another department. She replies that she is unable to because the docs in her office prefer that their clinicians not present at the inservices. The moral of the story: Heather gets to present all by herself.
I haven't started on the power point. I only have a crude outline of what I am going to talk about. And I'm this close to pissing myself out of sheer nervousness.
The inservice is next Tuesday.
To make it even better, some asshole posted a flyer in the break room about it. My name is listed right under Dr. Prestigious as guest speaker...now the entire floor is making plans to come and listen.
Oh...I'm not nervous about speaking. I used to compete in speech and debate. Five points from making it to national competition once. Speaking in front of large groups is something I will have to get used to because I plan on finishing my nursing career in a teaching capacity.
No, what has my stomach in a knot is the audience. I'll be speaking to nurses who have been in practice years longer than me AND some doctors as well. Heather will be lecturing for doctors. And Heather will be lecturing for coworkers, some of whom I suspect would like to see me fall flat on my face.
And I have nothing to wear.
What in the hell was I thinking when I volunteered for this in the first place?!?!?!