Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

For the past couple weeks, the car has been a shakin'. The drive home on Christmas was an exceptional treat as my arms and hands were numb from holding on to a vibrating steering wheel for 50+ miles.

So, last week I stopped by Hellmart. I explained how the car shook, shimmied, and jerked to the right. Not a steady pull, but sharp jerks. The mental giant who was taking orders tried to diagnose the problem. Please just have someone look at the tires and find the problem. That is what I requested. An hour and a half later, I get my car rotated and balanced. No one mentioned a gimpy tire, so I figured that the balancing and rotation was the culprit.

Then, I drive the car back home. The car does not vibrate, or jerk to the left, but the shimmy is still there, only this time it's coming from the back of the car instead the front. This tells me two things: that the problem is tire-related and Hellmart employs the runners-up from the Special Olympics.

This morning, I stop by Hellmart. I explain to the girl at the desk about my visit last week, and tell them that the problem still exists. It was only moved from the front of the car, to the back of the car. My wait hour, maybe one-and-a-half. Start time: 9 AM.

I meander around the store, and buy absolutely nothing. Sit down for a spell, have a cup of coffee, meander some more. I decide to go back to Automotive and my car sits in the parking lot, exactly where I left it. An hour and a half has elapsed. I start glaring at staff and my car is brought into the bay.

More meandering.

At 11am, I'm called to the back and am told I have a bad tire in the form of a large bubble on the rear driver side tire. I nearly implode. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL TO KNOW LAST WEEK WHEN YOU HAD THE DAMN CAR ON THE RACK!!!

Would I like a new tire? Yes! I stand and glare at everyone while a new tire is being installed. I decide that if I am still there at noon, I'm going to have a nuclear meltdown. The car is finished with 20 minutes to spare.

Now, the car doesn't shake, shimmy, or do anything that you only see when someone is getting busy in the back seat (which has never happened in my car...that I'm aware of).

I have to change out of my scrubs, and go to my hair appointment because the red has faded somewhat, and my blonde roots are showing. At 4pm this afternoon, I will have been awake for 24 hours straight. With any luck, I will be home before then and curled up in my warm bed. Electric blanket on, not a stitch of clothing in site. Just the way nature intended.

Until that time, I will be ingesting anything with a high caffeine content. Starbucks, here I come!


IDigSmartLadies said...

I prefer to get my caffeine the way god intended it: In pure, USP grade chemical form, purchased in bulk from the intarwebs. According to the Canadian Press, caffeine in food is going to be hotter this year than David Vitter's seat after the DC Madam's release of records. I'm already there, with caffeine-infused kool-aid, purell, and have even considered shower gel.

Regarding Hellmart and their hiring practices, I thought it was common knowledge. Think of it as the place for people to work who have a little too much get up and go to work at a video store.

thepaintman said...

you never want to take Tony with you to the pool and keep him off the diving board or this will happen.

Spyder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spyder said...

What are you doing going to Hellmart in the first place?

Heather said...

I was sleep-deprived and therefor not responsible for my actions.

meesha.v said...

Who cares about the car, I liked the ending about warm blanket and no clothing. I feel like this topic is not covered enough.

Midtown Miscreant said...

I sleep fully clothed, back to the wall with a sharp tooth brush handle. old habits die hard.

IDigSmartLadies said...

I should look into an electric blanket. I've been getting colder and colder at night, and have taken to bundling up before going to bed, something I haven't done since I was in middle school.

I'm with MM on the wall thing though. Whether I'm sleeping, eating, or just sitting in a room, I need to have my back to the wall and be facing the door. Anything else, and my response will fall somewhere between vague feelings of discomfort and nearly irrepressible urges to run screaming out of the room.