Monday, January 21, 2008

The Rabbit Bandit Strikes

In Springfield (Missouri, y'all) someone drove their minivan into various adult stores and absconded with sex toys.

One has to wonder just what kind of sex toys they took. The Two Foot Double Ended Pink Jelly Dong, perhaps?? Hope they remembered to grab the lube.

And then you have to wonder just what they plan on doing with them. Christmas presents??

Even more interesting, the thief was driving a minivan.

Hah! I didn't know the repressed soccer Moms of JoCo were willing to drive all the way to Springfield.

This story is full of snarky goodness, I just don't know where to begin.


Spyder said...

You beat KCTV5 to it!

Midtown Miscreant said...

Sounds like a regular Snatch and Grab caper.

Shicho said...

Angelina has that effect.

Sure, at first it's all "Look at me: I'm banging the coolest, hotest SMW in the Universe (with apologies to emaw's SMW with the afflicted thumb. Wow!"

But that wears off in just a dozen years or so and the Angelina's like, "So, Braaaaaad, what CAN you do in this hick town?" And Brad, all dissed n' shit, just slumps lower in his cousin's barcolounger and don't say shit when she snags the keys to the cousins' bad ass van and then comes back with all know, TOYZ, from Tiny Tom Thumb's Tattoo and Erotic Accouterments, which you KNOW she didn't pay for, and then she retires to their room [Brad's cousin totally gives up his crib so Angelina will feel, like, at home] without inviting Brad in and takes the toys WITH her and no one says anything, even when stuff starts vibrating and buzzing from inside the room and no one can look at Brad, who finally says "I'm gonna take a walk" and leaves outta the trailer. Totally sad, could see it to speak.

Hard for Brad to keep his head up she keeps actin' like that...

What must his parents think?

RCH said...


IDigSmartLadies said...

I'm guessing the cops will be trolling this coming weekends flea markets looking for folks selling sex toys.

Thanks. Now that I'm thinking about flea-market purveyors of dildos, vibrators, and all manner and sort of sex toys, I need some serious eye bleach.