Sometimes, I think it would be a swell idea to get another dog and name him Doctor.
Then, I can go home after a bad night at work and kick the Doctor.
I can lock the Doctor up in a cage.
I can dress the Doctor up in a bumble bee costume and point and laugh. Or I can take him to the groomer for the most ridiculous haircut, only to take him to the dog park so other people can point and laugh at the Doctor.
I can leer at the Doctor and tell him that he's really, really dumb. The Doctor would just lick his own ass to prove my point.
I can feed the Doctor food that smells like ass and tastes even worse.
However, I like dogs better than I like most people. No dog deserves to be treated that way.
So, instead I will stick with the voodoo dolls.