Sunday, June 18, 2006

Nurse Follies: Another Weekend, Winding Down

So, I have to go back to work tonight. It's been an interesting weekend. Friday, I took a new admit. ER never said anything about the patient being hostile, but sure enough, as they brought him to his room, he fully lost his marbles. It took 5 people just to get him to bed...one person for each limb, and one person to make sure he didn't bite anyone. At one point, he looked up and me and said, "You have nice, straight teeth."

Then, he attempted to punch me in the mouth. My catlike reflexes enabled me to catch his balled up fist in mid-flight. Disgruntled, he kicked another nurse in the chest, and grabbed one of the male workers in the junk with a death grip meant to render said person sterile for the rest of his life.

And people wonder why nursing has such a high turnover rate. The least hospitals could do is give us Hazard Pay.

The next night, I had a patient fiddling with her insulin drip. I walked into the room 30 minutes after I adjusted it according to her blood sugar, and I had found the rate had been increased from 2 units an hour to 30 units an hour...which would mark the first time I uttered a colorful expletive in front of a patient. The patient denied any wrongdoing, but she looked guilty. IV pumps are not smart enough to reset themselves, but patients who spend a lot of time in hospitals have a good idea of how to work them.

I locked the pump for the remainder of the night.

I wonder what tonight will bring me. I can hardly wait.

1 comment:

Kristine said...

Shit! Good for you and your catlike reflexes. I hope the weekend ended with your nice, straight teeth still intact. :)

(I was catching up in your archives and the Chippendales post had me laughing out loud).