Heather's Hoppin' Mad

I stopped at the Farmer's Market Satruday morning when I got off work. The Tomato Gestapo was there, but he was out of his mutant fruit. I did end up buying a cluster of mushrooms, tomatoes from another vendor, a small head of cabbage, and six ears of sweet corn. I came home, took Sam out, and checked my messages. I noticed my mother called at 6:45am. I found this to be odd because she never calls so early, I figured something was amiss. She left a message.

"Hi. It's Mom. I let Sam out last night. I'm going to be gone this week because I'm going on vacation. I'll be home Saturday, but I will call you periodically during the week."

Annoyed, I called her at home.

Me: What's this about a vacation? Where are you going?
Mom: To the East Coast.
Me: Can you be more specific?
Mom: Washington D.C.
Me: And WHY are you going there? You've never been to D.C.
Mom: Because they have a great fireworks display.
Me: What!?! And who are you going with?
Mom: (pause) Ummm...friends.
Me: Internet friends?
Mom: (pause) No.
Me: And just when did you decide to go on this vacation?
Mom: I've had the plane ticket for about a month now.

Disgusted, I hung up the phone. Then, I went and peered in my bathroom mirror to see if I could spot the "Stupid" tattoo that apparently is on my forehead somewhere. I didn't see it.

Upset, I called Paul, because all my other friends were either working, or out for the weekend. I ranted to Paul, who only said, "She's a big girl and can make her own decisions."

Disgusted, I hung up on him, too.

I understand that my mother is an adult, fully capable (physically) of making her own choices...but how about acting like a responsible adult?!? She's flying half a country away to meet up with Random Internet Guy, whom she HAS NEVER MET IN PERSON BEFORE. I have NO INFORMATION on how to reach her in the event of an emergency. No hotel. No flight numbers. I only have her cell phone number which she may or may not answer. Instead of acting like a rational adult, she's acting like a 14 year old meeting up with Chester the Molester from MySpace.

Fan-fucking-tastic!!!

So, for a week I get to sit around and hold my breath and HOPE she comes back when she says she's supposed to. If not, what am I supposed to think?

You know, I've made some pretty bonehead choices in my life, but this really, REALLY trumps anything I've ever done. I can only hope she had the good sense to leave information with someone. Maybe some dimwit friend here who actually thinks this bullshit is romantic.

So, I'm going between being concerned, and being livid. I'm on edge here at work, and everyone knows it.

I don't recall ever having kids, but apparently I have a 51 year old daughter who is going through menopause and has lost her ever-loving mind.

I'm at a total and complete loss as to what to do. So, I guess I won't do anything. There's only so many times I can roll my eyes and shake my head before I get a migraine.