Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My 4th of July Festivities

I did go to my friend's house for festivities last night. I arrived with my large bowl of the World's Famous Kieffer Fresh Garden Salsa. It was the star of the evening. (I'll post the recipe when I get permission to do so, and Kathryn can email me the exact recipe).

We ran back and forth between various houses in the neighborhood to watch everyone shoot off fireworks. Small kids milled around, I was waiting for the 3rd degree burn, which thankfully never occurred (it was more a 2nd degree burn).

My friend's husband bought large, and I am certain illegal, firecrackers. When you're standing 50 feet away and it causes such an explosion that you not only have to cover your ears, but feel the blast...obviously it's not something you find in the fireworks tent next to the sparklers. He lit off a couple, causing the entire neighborhood to tremble. From then on, everytime he would go to light one of his "big bangs", I learned three fundmental things: stand 100 feet away, cover your ears, and don't look at it.

Immediately after the bang, 4 LDS missionaries appeared, all agog at the sheer power of the explosion. All boys like to blow things up, that includes the Elders. Most everyone thought they were Jehovah's witnesses because they were wearing white shirts and ties, but being the resident Mormon expert, I explained that the boys were required to wear their whites and ties, no they were not JW's, and be nice to them because they don't get to see their families for 2 whole years...holidays included. Feeding them will score you extra points.

A group of children started lighting little cones and things, prompting one neurotic mom to pass around spiral notebook, collecting signatures. When asked what they were signing, the mother explained that it was a waiver in the event someone got hurt, and it cleared them of liability.

Now, I'm not a lawyer (even though I did date one), but I am fairly certain that signatures on a kid's school notebook doesn't hold much weight in a court of law. I left before she cornered me into signing it because I didn't want to explain how ridiculous her notebook was. Most other people signed it, then left. While I am told that this lady is nice, she is somewhat of a prude (like I couldn't figure that one out on my own). I was also told that she doesn't fare much better at comedy clubs either because she cries at the handicap jokes.

The city's display started, and everyone situated themselves in places where they could see the display. While it was a good display, I think everyone grew tired of it 20 minutes in, so they went back to eating the rest of the chips and WFKFGS.

My friend's neighborhood is really cool. They get together for block parties and such, except for the anti-social family on the corner. I told my friend it would be fun to live in her neighborhood, but I couldn't do it on single nurse's salary, even on weekend option. So, that means I will just have to marry well.

I retired for the evening around 11pm. Came home, shaved my legs, went to bed. I didn't wake up until 2 this afternoon. I did have morning plans, but I slept right through them. I still need to take my rent check to the office, late. I think I will wait until they are closed for the evening so I can go in pajamas.

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