Star Jones, we liked you better when you were fat.People somehow related to you. You were like every other woman on the planet...struggling to lose weight, buying shoes from Payless. You were likeable. Everyone wanted to bring you home to meet their families, and then take you out to a buffet restaurant for dinner.
Then, you had surgery, but you would never admit you had surgery to lose weight. While this was insulting to the intelligence of the general public, most folks let it slide. But then you got engaged, and started whoring yourself on national televsions for freebies for your wedding. Star, who makes obscene money to sit on your ass and blather for an hour, not to mention a lawyer to boot, was seeking freebies. To make it worse, you married a man of somewhat questionable sexual orientation in the world's tackiest wedding aside from Britney Spears.
Then, the general public watched what was once a likeable person, into what appeared to be a drag queen. It would appear that the excess weight on your chin was holding your head in place, because once those extra chins departed, your nose drifted into the air, where it would remain to this day. Americans cannot relate to someone like this.
You did some red carpet thing for an award show. You sucked something awful.
We won't even discuss the boob job.
So, you flapped your yap and you found yourself unemployed. Rather than sit back and eat humble pie, you thought you could outclass Barbara Walters. Barbara, who has interviewed dignitaries, dictators, and everyone else in between. Barbara, who will go down in the annals of history for her contributions to journalism and feminism. You, Star, if you are lucky, will be just a footnote. You could never outclass Babs. She even oozed class when she "served" you on The View.
I hate to say it, but Oprah Winfrey has more class.
So, Star, just go away. We don't care about what happened. We don't care why you left, or where you are going. You have a law degree, why not put it to use? If you want to be honest with your fans, just send them an email, but quit whining about it. If you find yourself feeling down, eat a Twinkie, or play dress-up with your husband.
Don't go away mad...just go away.
1 comment:
I’m weighing in *snicker* on Star’s weight loss. I don’t think the point is the method by which she lost the weight, but rather how frank and truthful she was about it. The View is a program that comes into people’s homes five days a week. The women sit at a kitchen table, giving the appearance of having an intimate coffee klatch with viewers. Folks who are watching expect a degree of openness and honesty, just as you would from having a good friend in your home. Star was giving the false impression that she lost a large amount of weight through diet and exercise. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, and I congratulate those who can lose over a hundred pounds without surgery. But it was wrong to mislead people who had come to trust her.
Five years from now, Barbara Walters is still going to be a respected journalist, and Star Jones is going to be nothing more than a Trivial Pursuit question.
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