A lender I am working with emailed me an application. "Just fill it out and fax it back to me?" he said ever-so-simply.
That bitch is SEVEN PAGES LONG!!! Plus, it reads like stereo instructions. There HAS to be an easier way to do this. Lots of people buy houses. Lots of STUPID people buy houses. How in the hell did they manage to complete the loan application??? I speak Japanese and some Russian. I have an IQ of 132. I make calculations that can be the deciding factor whether someone lives or dies. I'm not stupid.
But I do know my limits.
Everytime I even glance in the general direction of the loan application, I smell oranges and I feel a seizure coming on.
Surely, I can pay someone to do this. Somewhere out there, is the idiot savant of loan applications...salivating over the next opportunity to fill in all the blanks and boxes. It's their porn.
I just need to find them.