Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning.
Tuesday morning...I get up early to drop Sam off at the vet for his grooming appointment. From there, I have to go to Riverside to the Park Bank because their ATM ate my card the previous night because I was having a short-bus moment and didn't remove the card right away. Apparently, all ATMs do that.
Unfortunately, the bank isn't open, but the Quik Trip around the corner is, so I drive over for a morning beverage...a nice, icy Dr. Pepper. I go back to my car, but it won't start. It turns over once, then nothing. I sit there for a good 10 minutes offering short prayers so my car will start, only God wasn't listening to me. A passer-by stops and offers to give the car a jump start. He tries, but no dice. Personally, I think he doesn't leave the cables on long enough to build a charge, but it was nice that he tried. After many unsuccessful attempts, he wishes me luck, and drives away.
I call my brother, Mike, who is auto-repair savvy, but he tells me he is very far away working with 'bert. So, Mike can't help. I then call Trish, who comes to my aid, if not for just moral support in the matter. While I wait for Trish, I decide to walk down to the bank to see if they will give me my ATM card back.
The teller was very nice, and very apologetic to my misfortune. She directs me to Surly Old Hag, who is not very nice. She tells me that it is their policy to destroy any card swallowed by their ATM that isn't theirs. Even if I offer 50 pieces of identification? Even if.
"There's no way of knowing if the card is stolen or if you just don't have any money in your account" she sniffed, looking me up and down. Considering that my morning is heading to Land of Suckville, this lady is not doing herself any favors. Too tired to argue, I just raise an eyebrow and cast that look I reserve for those patients who come in strung out on crack looking for the narcotic hookup.
The very least she could have done was be nice. I'm having a bad day...and it's not even 9:30am. Is being nice simply too much to ask??
She begins to blather on about something else, but I just turn on my heel and walk out while she is in mid-sentence. I hope she caught the words Registered Nurse on the back of my t-shirt. I hope she gets her comeuppance, and she has to be my patient someday. I might get to tell her that it is my policy to be an asshole...and I'm putting her on a low calorie, high residue diet.
Dejected, and mildly annoyed, I walk back to my car, where I try to start it again, thinking maybe God felt sorry for me and through divine intervention, put a spark in my battery. He didn't. I call my most favorite garage ever and tell them about my problem. While they don't have a tow service, they do contract out to one. I'm given the phone number to said tow service, and I call for a truck. It's going to cost me $60 to tow the car to the garage for a new battery. At that point, it could have been $200, and I still wouldn't have cared.
Trish pulls up next to me and I try to start the car to demonstrate it is dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Two men happen by and stop. Being all manly and stuff, they surmise that the battery is indeed, dead...but wait...they happen to be car battery salesmen!! While they can't sell me a battery directly, they are on their way to deliver some to one of their distributors right there in town, and they would send those people over to start my car (Yay!!). I call the tow service to cancel the truck. No one answers, and the two truck shows up anyway. I explain that someone is coming to help, he drives away. I hope and pray I don't have to call him back.
So, I'm standing outside of Trish's SUV and gabbing with her about how crappy my morning is. Her son is sitting in the back watching Scooby Doo on their little built-in dvd player. I call my bank and tell them about my ATM card. They are very nice, and they order me another card. I love my bank.
In a short while, a guy comes along with a big blue box and jump starts my car with relative ease. I ask Trish to follow me to the garage to get another battery installed, but when she went to start her car, her battery had died as well. I laugh like I'm having a nervous breakdown. Jump-Start Boy happily gives her a charge with his blue box, and within minutes we have a small caravan to the garage. Car batteries for everyone!!
My car is 4 years old. Turns out, it still has the original battery. It was all crusty and nasty, and didn't even have enough power to run a vibrator.
Not that I have one of those or anything...
I get a new battery, Trish gets a new battery. It was like a bonding moment between friends. It is now 10:30. Exhausted, I go home. I'm going to take a nap, but first I need to pay some bills online. First item up for bid: the credit card.
While perusing my info online, I notice a sizeable amount gone from my available credit. I call my credit card company and it takes me forever to finally speak to a living, breathing person. Ever try to have an arguement with an automated voice sytem?? I wouldn't recommend it. You just keep getting returned to the main menu.
The credit card company does some sniffing, and they informed me that Orbitz charged me twice for my plane tickets to Ft. Lauderdale, and I need to call Orbitz and have them take care of that. I call Orbitz, have another shouting match with the automated voice system. You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now.
I get a woman, with a very thick Indian accent. Her name is...Jane. Whatever. I give her my info, and she plays Captain of the Obvious.
Jane: You purchased two plane tickets.
Me: I know.
Jane: You are flying out on such and such date with AirTran.
Me: I know.
Jane: You are flying home on such and such date with AirTran.
Me: I know.
Jane: The other passenger is Joe Schmo (name changed to protect the innocent).
Me: I already know all that. What I don't know, is why you charged me twice.
Jane goes on to tell me how much my tickets cost, breaking it down per passenger, plus taxes and other fees. After 10 minutes of me trying to get her to understand the simple fact that they charged me twice, she tells me she can't help me, but that I have to prove to them that they charged me twice before anything will be done. I suppose I could have told her off, but I was too tired, and she wouldn't have understood me anyway. So, I hung up.
In an effort to redeem my day, I went and took a nap. The alarm rang a few hours later, and I got back out of bed, against my better judgement.
The day was somewhat salvaged by a very tasty meal at a friend's house. Now, I am going to go to bed and try to forget that this day happened. Tomorrow is a brand new day.