Saturday, September 23, 2006

Where They Are Very Happy to Have You

Only a little over 4 months to go before I set sail to the Caribbean while everyone in KC freezes their collective asses off. But don't be a hater...I'll think of you fondly as I slather SPF 100 on myself and search for the perfect mojito.

Airfare booked...check. Cruise paid for...check. Pre-cruise stay reserved...check. Rental car booked...check. Passport found...well, still have to look for it. The only thing left to do is secure a room in Fort Lauderdale for my one-night post-cruise stay.

I usually book through Orbitz, or some other discount travel search engine. I plugged in the numbers tonight to see roughly what I will spend on a decent room.

I consider myself fairly hip on knowing the things that go on in the world, but I must say, I've never given much thought to gay resorts. So, imagine my surprise when Orbitz popped up this hotel. I've always known such resorts existed, but having seen how these rooms are decorated...why would any person want to stay there? Imagine trying to sleep in a room that had walls the color of Big Bird. What logic says gay people like big, flashy, tacky colors and prints?? (Probably the same logic that says fat women like wearing loud, ugly sequined shirts.) Look at the rooms. There's paintings of naked men on the walls!

What if I booked? What would they say if I went to check in?? Would they turn me away? I could tell them I am a "hag" or a "beard". I could tell them I am in "transition". I could tell them my cousin is gay, and therefor am related by association. Why should I be denied a room just because I have a vagina??

Nah...I'll just get a room at the very boring, very predictable Marriott.

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