Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Mortifying Realization

The neighbor kids came over yesterday morning to play with the dog. I walked out the back door and stood on my deck and watched, chatting with them about school, summer plans, etc. I was still in my pajamas, which consisted of a t-shirt, and flannel pants.

Things were going well until one of the kids (who is not my neighbor, but a friend of the neighbor) mentioned something unintelligible, then the word "stripper". The oldest of the kids silenced him with a look and play went on as usual.

It got me thinking...then I had a horrible thought.

Oh. My. God. My neighbors think I am a stripper.

I work weekends, leave at night and come home in the morning, home during the week, prefer to sleep during the day. What other profession has that kind of schedule??? AND, because I bought this house on my own and there is no man living here, how else can I afford it? Strippers make decent money, far more than my meager salary.

Women dancing in my living room. Mom dry humping inflatable sheep in front of my living room window. It all fits!!!

I'm stunned. What man would actually pay money to see me naked? In fact, they would be tossing dollar bills on the stage to ensure I would keep my clothes on. How could anyone possibly mistake me for a stripper???
They probably think the scrubs are part of the schtick or something. Naughty nurse? I could just die.

5 comments:

Sassywho said...

kids are funny that way.

a few years i was visiting friends in florida who have 3 children, at the time 14, 10, and 6. i was going out for the evening with some of my younger friends in the area and we were going to cd release party.

i was wearing a short skirt and some stilettos and when i walked into the kitchen before i left, the 10 year old boy gets a look at me and announces "you look like a stripper" totally thinking he was giving me a compliment. it was funny and cute, but we had to explain to him a more appropriate compliment would be "you look pretty".

Spyder said...

Too funny!

Janet said...

Yeah, my ultra-conservative Christian fundamentalist ex-husband thought telling me I should be a stripper was a compliment.

One of the many reasons he's now my EX.

pomegranate said...

Evvvvvveryone loves the naughty nurse bit.

Everyone.

pomegranate said...

PS I don't know what area to work in. I'm lost.