Taking the Browns to the Superbowl and Other Hump Day Blather

So today I had a lunch date of sorts. We went to City Market and ate at Cascone's...Grill. When he mentioned Cascone's, I was thinking of Italian restaurant. This place...somewhat Italian, but with a mish-mash of other stuff. I'll be posting a review of the restaurant on Yelp.

After lunch, we walked around City Market, he buying produce and me buying some fresh pita bread. I mentioned that I wanted to stop by Baby Cakes to buy some cupcakes to take home for the fam, but I wasn't really sure where it was, other than it was at City Market.

So, we drove around for a while, finally finding it and realized that I had driven right past it at one point. Inside smelled heavenly.

While we were in there, and I was wrestling over which cupcakes to buy, some fruity guy came walking in to ask us if we were from Wichita, and did we see that story on the news about the lady who was taken to the hospital? Yeah, I read that story this morning. I knew all about it. But he goes on to regale the others with this tale. Bakery lady listens with abject horror. My date busts out laughing. I have no reaction. Stupid people seldom surprise me anymore.

Date apologizes for laughing (he doesn't care for stupid people either), and Bakery Lady says that it's okay. She was more curious about my reaction. I shrug.

"I'm a nurse. I once saw someone who had to be extracted from their car with the Jaws of Life because they were too fat to get out. Nothing shocks me anymore."

However, I do have a couple concerns with the story as I have read it on the news...

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to
report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

He suddenly calls, two years after her sitting on the toilet, claiming something is wrong?? What could it have been??? Oh, maybe, that she was permanently attached to the toilet? Did he just notice???? He had been taking her food and water while she was homesteading on said porcelain throne. Sadly, there are no pictures available.

If this had happened in Russia, more than one family would have been without a toilet. This might have started a riot, especially with all the borscht they eat.

Even more disturbing is that she is only two years older than me, and she has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who sticks by her for two years while she is trying to meld into one with her toilet seat (and apparently succeeded). She has a boyfriend, and I'm still going through a serious man-drought.

I am depressed. I think I will go eat a cupcake and sit on the toilet. Perhaps then, my prince will then come.