Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Nurse Follies: Putting on a Happy Face

It's no secret that morale on my floor has hit an all low. For the month of October, we will have lost 4 nurses on nights. Bosshole has made arrangements for a temporary fix, but it's just that...temporary.

Some people have it in their heads that the crappy morale has everything to do with a few unhappy people spreading their unhappiness. It has nothing to do with the short staffing, or the myriad of other bullshit we endure at the hands of crappy management. One of the coordinators suggested that if we hear someone complaining, we should correct them and tell them to say only nice things so the new grads wouldn't become disillusioned with their new jobs. (I suggested that if someone corrected me during a rant, they would promptly receive the finger.)

Nope. It is felt by a certain few, that if we blew sunshine up each other's buttholes on a regular basis, morale around the unit would improve. Such sunshine would be infectious, and spread like cancer! Soon, the new nurses would forget we work in hell because we would all be happy about it. We'd be so happy about working on our floor, we would work overtime!!

In an effort to commence with the sunshine blowing, a decorative box was placed in the break room. A "feel good" box of sorts. Everyone would get a name and have to write something nice about that person, and those compliments would be shared with everyone.

Is it me, or does this sound retarded?? Or more like something we did in the third grade.

I asked the person who is spearheading this activity what we should do if we can't find a nice thing to say about that person. That they have good hygiene? That they don't fart during report?? That they are best ass-kisser ever!? That they do a good job taking their psych meds as scheduled??

The Feel-Good Captain got all snippy with me, like it wasn't a valid question. I'm not going to write lies, because we all know what happens to liars...

They are thrust down to hell.

Feel-Good Captain was sizing me up. I could tell she decided that I was going to be the Scrooge of this project. That I would single-handedly bring the downfall of the Feel-Good Project. I wouldn't be surprised if she conveniently forgot to assign me a name of a staff member. Not that this is a bad thing. I prefer to dole out my compliments in person, and only if they are true.

I think I will just keep being my usual, charming, sarcastic self. With any luck, someone will write that about me.


"The D" said...

That box is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. If there is a Feel good box why can't there be a Bitch box? Probably cause the box would need to be the size of the effing space shuttle.

Here's how I think, I don't have to like the peeps I work with I just have to work with them. Which means I have no work friends and I don't go the the lame ass X-mas parites and meet their whore wives, and moron husbands.

Faith said...

Hmm...sounds like someone around there goes to that church where they hand out the no-complaining-wristband thingies, or whatever.

I think that if we all had to bottle up our complaints/grievances all the fucking time, society would be even more dysfunctional than it already is. It's not right to not be able to voice your feelings, good or bad. Gives you cancer.

JustCara said...

Only a woman would come up with something as dumbassed as a "feel good box." (Sorry, but y'all know it's true.) Tell her you've got your own "feel good box" but it is for men and it is invitation-only. (Women like that get all offended when you talk about your girly bits.)

I suggest that you write the following about the person you get (regardless of who it is):
"Well, at least you aren't [insert name of Feel-Good Captain here].

KC Sponge said...

"Fell Good Project"

Now I could be the captain of that one!